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nacup
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PostSubject: start here :)   Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:48 am

i named it start here because im still a little contempt with myself, i woulnd't call it a journey because i havn't really gone anywhere and i wouldn't really call it spiritual because we dont know if thats true either Very Happy!!! so ill leave it very free to interpretation and i hope you enjoy this as much as i hope i do lol :S?!!!??!?!?!



ok first off, i guess ill start with a date and just shortly fill in whats been happening and hopefully we can get some kind of formula happening. in my recent experience and in talking to some people and web searching i'v found alot of what is actually happening does seem to be quite common and a number of people have experienced it. although it seems to stop there, their is speculation and a degree of rational thinking. then usually an unkown side will answer and thats usually the end of it, leaving me going ?!?!?!?!?!?!, im sure you probalby know what im talking about.

also i dont trust alot of what i do read on the internet, because it usually has an add on it saying 'buy this or that garunteed enlightenment' where did consumerism and spiritualility ever get grounds to co-erse with eachother when the both seem so different.

secondly you just dont know who it is who has written it, its to easy to base your ideals on things that make you feel happy, we dont want to admit it but... what if we really are all insane we know were not but.. maybe a true side to spiritualitys face is that in the face of a materialism we somewhat have to be? i mean truely, i can ask the empty questions such as ... what is real? what is sane, and what is insane. but where would that get me? perhaps it'll come up later but for now it just honesty.

i bet if we went back in time to the age of taoism, buddhism to egypt and even rome where they alteast belived in spirit we might be ashamed of ourselves for giving into such odd desires. but really if i have to point out a hypocrite it'd have to be myself because i am so guilty of such things. and even if i wasn't, vicariously i would be i just dont have a choice. people dying all over the world, famine... i cant do a thing about it, or can i ?!
so many things dont make sense and yet they do. for me, this is all just learning so i want to just be on the train when it stops at every station on its way to the future, and if going backwards means going forwards it sounds like its gonna be more then what i paid for Smile
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nacup
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PostSubject: Re: start here :)   Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:49 am

ok where to begin, i dont think there really is a place so ill just post what has happened during meditation's




date is 28th of feb, 2008 first entry

during the last week i have been practicing in just letting go and accepting what ever will happen, eventually i have no choice and i need to play it out.

so, most of you have read i did have a sort of shell shock awakening the other day, nothing special happend i was just directed somewhere completely differnt, it happend after i felt as lost as i possibly could, not really having any direction and feeling like a square peg in a round hole. (i still to a degree do)

anyhow, i can ramble later

i noticed lately, the colors are definantly getting stronger, its not just purple anymore but sometimes a lime green inside the purple, flashes (only rarely) of white, and a red sort of deep haze. but predominantly very very purple, it is more vibrant and almost everywhere i look, i can see the haze in my minds eye.

uhm, secondly... it started slowly but during the last few sessions body movements have become more and more surreal. i seem to be playing somewhat with my hands, they dance around infront of me... but very very methodical, i dont control them but i can if i want to. letting them do their 'thing' just feels natural. (yes my hands are feeling quite warm, not hot but warm)

thirdly, i had sustained a bit of an injury lately hence taking a week off my usual martial arts training and resting. i had got shin splints which usually occurs form over use and doing to much too soon (i was training 4 hours a day 5 days a week boxing and muay thai) which brings me to this, during meditation my shins would get hot... very hot, i remember a year or so back i had the same feeling in my knee, it burned ... like using tiger balm or deep heat the same kind of feeling although i hadnt' rubbed a thing on it the entire time, these sesations slowly with will on my behalf crawled up to the top of my thighs and resonated just below my hips where it soon passed.

fourthly, im going to come right out and say it but.. my third eye or what feels like in the middle of my forehead is lets say buzzing?? uhm, get your thumb and press it as hard as you can into your forehead and it feels something like that with a tingle Smile its been like this for days now but when i seem to meditate it gets overwhelming, my whole head starts to vibrate a bit i guess and i feel it kind of like little streams moving to behind my eyes and trying to get in, also my nose will beging to twitch the muscles inside it just seem to spasm. from there it gets a little heavy because before i had just let it do its thing i would always kind of project through it although not much would happen, now when i just let it be it seems to want to push backwards into my skull.. the crown (this has never happend before) energy i will use as a loose term for meaning.. 'something that feels like moving under my skin like a vibrating pulse' .... seems to be flowing from my forehead up along the very top of my skull (it seems to be stream lined all the time) to a part in my head (somewhere around the middle) where it becomes ... like a really heavy pressure (its doing it now ) i would really like some help with this please because it makes me feel sick its like, this amazing pressure is piling on top of my head, and burrowing, the part that frightens me is it becomes so intense that i feel like im going to throw up. for some reason it, pulls me at the same time... my head seems to feel like its being inflated with air and i begin to feel sypmtoms like vertigo and im going to vomit ( i never do but its nauseus) from there fo some bizzare reason it goes down my spine, it travels very slowly like a lump and seems to stop now and again which seems to i guess aggravate some of the surrounding muscles making them feel like knots which seems to get stuck in my throat (yes a bit odd) these knots also seem to resonate and the energy finally goes down gradually to the bottem of my spine where it lingers and doesn't move. ... occasionally i get a shot of energy that returns straight back up the way it came but while it does so seems to chill everything, or heat eveything around it while it ascends and then dissapears into the crown.. or sometimes even more oddly keeps going... and that usually makes the inflated head and ... bizzarely i can feel it.... when its nowhere near me ... WAT THE FUCK


uhm, have been dabbling a little bit with trying to see energy. only thing i can remotely say is differnt is that once ilook long enough i dont need to close my eyes to see the purple haze and very very unoticeably i can see like little buzzes, or strands go from finger to finger when i put them close and try to 'send, energy between them' just looking at them long enough brings up a sort of hazy shadow which really could be anything at all. this phenomena is like, just seeing a few wimsical things every now and again although i will add, its becoming alot more colorfull, i can see the purple and different hues today whereas yesterday i couldn't. .... although i personally dont think this has anything to do with seeing shit Very Happy !! lol

uhm what else, not really much at all .. although a strange thing did occur when i went hiking with my friends to a few waterfalls, we walked around 15km's and..... when we got to a place called the canyons my hand seeminly when i was alone wanted to touch everything. i felt the trees, and rocks.... and when we enterd this kind of cave i stared up and the rock sort of... moved (have you stared at one of them illusion spirals when you move your eyes things still seem out of whack) it did that only breifly and i went about my walk, it was really nice. only until the next day when i was telling another friend did he tell me that the place i visited used to be an aboriginal migration centre where alot of them would camp breifly before venturing. i didn't think anything of it at the time and i dont now, maybe i just have and inner ear problem i miht go see the doctor Very Happy


open to specualation. and yes this is my first entry .. muich more to come, and for some reason i feel like i got to move, i have to leave to keep path going. this is very hard for me, can you guys give me some suggestions as to what i should do ??


Last edited by nacup on Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: start here :)   Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:50 am

reserved
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Blue Water
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PostSubject: Re: start here :)   Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:09 pm

Wow, sounds like you're experiencing a shamanic awakening, Nacup! Have you ever reseached shamanism? I have heard similiar stories of shamans. Just be sure to not get too far ahead of yourself, by which I mean go with what feels right. I tried pushing my thumb in my forehead and I can't say that I'm feeling anything. I could, possibly, but I can 'let go' and become entranced at will. I have had interesting experiences myself, but not quite the same as yours.

Why is your last post 'reserved'?

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nacup
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PostSubject: Re: start here :)   Fri Feb 29, 2008 2:02 am

i'v reserved it for later on, uhm when we get to a stage where can sort of analyze and put everything in short for the 2 pages which instead of reading a journal (which is what this topic is for me) ill break it down short for the 2 pages jsut to keep everything easy Very Happy. shamanism, ill chek it out thanks bro, and i think your right too i have to keep it slow their really is no rush at all.
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PostSubject: Re: start here :)   Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:16 pm

Ok. I think I have a thread here on Shamanism, if you're interested.

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PostSubject: Re: start here :)   Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:28 am

Nacup, what you described coming in through your crown and down your spine sounds alot like kundalini energy. The feeling inside the middle of your head/brain would be coming from your pineal gland which is connected to your third eye. I think as you awaken your skills, every thing is opening and moving to support you. The thing is that you have not set the pace consciously so you have some things working flat out and others still blocked, and the result is all this misalignment and lack of synchronicity.

As wonderful as it sounds to be a 'natural psychic' or medium, like any new thing it still involves learning. What a psychic or medium does, is work with energy. It would be in your favour to learn about different types of energy and how to work with it. I understand your hesitation and questioning the validity of different sources (internet, people, etc). But you have a great inbuilt compass - as we all do - that will guide you right to what you need. It is called your intuition or gut feelings. If you feel drawn to a particular source or article, then trust in that feeling and see where the path takes you.

We all have to learn how to walk before we can run. The confusing thing about having psychic abilities is that there is often ability but no manual to follow. You have one brilliant thing going for you and that is meditation. You will get alot of guidance through this if you learn to ask the right questions.

Well done with being so open about what you are feeling. I know your guides are helping you. Take it at a pace that is comfortable for you. There really is no rush.

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PostSubject: Re: start here :)   Sat Mar 01, 2008 6:47 pm

Thanks for sharing all of this with us nacup. I would advise that you first see a doctor to rule out any physical problems just in case. I think this journal thing is a great idea and we can all see what unfolds. study

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